Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Shahrazad Ali shole' was crazy
I ordered a series of books from amazon.com the other day (Yes. I read books!).
I don't know what compelled me to order books from Shahrazad Ali, however, I was drawn to read, The Blackman's Guide to Understanding the Black Woman and How to Tell If Your Blackman is Gay. Just so we know where sistah girl is coming from I present to you this lovely photo.
**Notice the picture of Honorable Minister Elijah Muhammad above her extremely tall headgear. **
Sistah ain't takin' no guff!
I heard about her books from many of my fellow angry, black woman friends. After reading this for myself, I have drawn to several conclusions:
1. She is crazy but that doesn't mean she is wrong regarding these issues.
2. That she is adding to the problem, but it is not like she came thinking this way on her own.
3. Y'all ain't gonna like me after I write this, but oh well...kiss my half Nigerian ass.
Against the ongoing theme that Ali is promoting I do not agree with her theory that Black women should receive open-handed slaps to the mouth.
Not just a slap,
And OPEN-HANDED SLAP...
If anyone with a penis or a vagina slaps me...
I will go Kindergarten THERMOS, LUNCH BAG and LUNCHBOX on you.
Nor should we expect our men to have other women in their lives as partners IF they have committed themselves to us. Monogamy is good. As for all that polygamy dates back to our ancestry bullshit, I say this; back then AIDS wasn't rampant and men were out there working.
Not just some 9 to 5 job with benefits.
With a company car and 401K plans with an IRA option.
Negroes was building a damn house out of sticks and mud.
With irrigation system and shit.
Killing antelope and zebra to feed his wives and 17 kids, while shaving a boar.
Making home remedies out of wheatgrass and pepper.
These cats were making miracles and hunter packs out of rabbit guts and rhino snout.
THAT'S SOME HARD ASS WORK!
However, Shahrazad points out several key points. Thankfully, I have tranposed these into a lovely conglomerate of modern terminology for the everyday sistah of today.
"Wrote a song bout' it, like to hear it? HERE IT GO!" - Calhoun Tubbs - In Living Color
1. Black women, once committed and/or comfortable in a relationship, should not let themselves "go". Obviously, fitness and health are issues that plague our community and always have but when obesity and smoking are a part of the top five things that kills US (As a people!), clearly we have a problem. For me, I NEED the gym. I HAVE to workout, or Imma go out and CUT a white person on the street, in broad daylight, with a shank! (TOLD YOU I WAS EXTRA BLACK! **pumps fist**) If I was dating a handsome, intelligent brotha that worked out and kept himself together in the beginning and one year later had a potbelly, double chins, and a sweating problem then we are going to have to let something go: either that donut you're eating while playing Madden at 2:00am or YOU!
(Personally, if my man chooses Madden and a donut over sleeping with me at 2AM then you are definitely getting placed in the GOODBYE category)
2. I'll admit, we don't know when to show shut the hell up. My grandma trained me well into doing that we needed, but I am not going to submit myself to someone that obviously doesn't challenge me or give me a reason to make me feel like he could be a leader in a relationship. My generation, unfortunately, has a large percentage of ill-prepared men with sadly developed ideologies of manhood and maturity (as do women). Yet, for those that are luck to have acquired an individual that is the personification of a real man, don't eff it up by running ya mouth just because to want to see if you have control. I recommend that a man has the right to "shake the living life" out of you if you are getting a little to familiar with sounding "chicken-headish".
3. "You ain't gon' have me walkin' round here barefoot and pregnant if you ain't bringing home the bacon!" - My Granny (circa early 90's)
TRANSLATION: Do not get pregnant unless you are contracted with an agreement saying the following: MARRIAGE. Also, financially prepare yourself for a child. For those that have done it otherwise, I give you congratulatory praise and I support you. My mother, throughout the issues we have had, tried her best. Luckily, my grandmother was there and handled many of the responsibilties that my mother was unable to do. Given that situation I know, that for my ass, I need a man and money. I know what my granny went through with my mom. Give me marriage or give me death!
Of course, I will be adding on to this list throughout my wonderful blogging experience. Until then, or when I get through reading the 2nd installment of Ali's, The Blackwoman's Guide to Understanding the Blackman, I bid thee adieu!
Musical Genius of the Day:
Destiny's Child, with the song, Cater 2 U.
Baby I see you working hard
I want to let you know I'm proud,
let you know that I admire what you do
dont know if I need to reassure you my life would
be purposeless without you (yeah)
If I want it (got it)
When I ask you (you provide it)
You inspire me to be better
You challenge me for the better
Sit back and let me pour out my love letter
Let me help you take off your shoes
Untie your shoestrings take off your cufflinks (yeah)
What you want to eat boo (yeah)
Let me feed you
Let me run your bathwater,
whatever you desire, I'll aspire
Sing you a song
Turn my game on
I'll brush your hair
Help put your do rag on
Want a foot rub (yeah)
want a manicure
Baby I'm yours I want to cater 2 you boy
Let me cater 2 you
Cause baby this is your day
Do anything for my man
Baby you blow me away
I got your slippers, your dinner, your dessert and so much more
Anything you want just let me cater to you
Inspire me from the heart
Can't nothing tear us apart
You're all I want in a man
I put my life in your hands
I got your slippers, your dinner, your dessert
and so much more
Anything you want just let me cater 2 you
Baby I'm happy you're home,
let me hold you in arms
I just want to take the stress away from you
Making sure that I'm doing my part (oh)
Boy is there something you need me to do (oh)
If you want it (I got it)
Say the word ( I will try it)
I know whatever I'm not fulfilling (oh)
No other woman is willing (oh)
I'm going to fulfill you mind, body and spirit
I promise you (promise you)
I'll keep myself up (oh)
Remain the same chick (yeah)
You fell in love with (yeah)
I'll keep it tight, I'll keep my figure right
I'll keep my hair fixed, keep rocking the hottest outfits
When come home late tap me on my shoulder, I'll roll over
Baby I heard you, I'm here to serve you ( I'm lovin' it, I'm lovin' it)
If it's love you need, to give it is my joy
All I want to do, is cater 2 you boy
I want to give you my breath, my strength, my will to you
That's the least I can do,
Let me cater 2 you
Through the good (good)
The bad (through the bad)
The ups and the downs (ups and downs)
I'll still be here for you
Let me cater 2 you
Cause you're beautiful ( you're beautiful)
I love the way you are (you are)
Fulfill your every desire (desire)
Your wish is my command (command)
I want to cater to my man
Your heart (your heart)
So pure your love shines through (shines through)
The darkness we'll get through (so much)
So much of me is you (is you)
I want to cater 2 my man
If you disagree with me...chances are you're single because you're hardheaded
If you agree with me and you're single...it's cause you ain't settling for bullshit negroes. Keep the faith! And trust me: YOU'RE RIGHT! ¶ 10:02 AM
I don't know what compelled me to order books from Shahrazad Ali, however, I was drawn to read, The Blackman's Guide to Understanding the Black Woman and How to Tell If Your Blackman is Gay. Just so we know where sistah girl is coming from I present to you this lovely photo.
**Notice the picture of Honorable Minister Elijah Muhammad above her extremely tall headgear. **
Sistah ain't takin' no guff!
I heard about her books from many of my fellow angry, black woman friends. After reading this for myself, I have drawn to several conclusions:
1. She is crazy but that doesn't mean she is wrong regarding these issues.
2. That she is adding to the problem, but it is not like she came thinking this way on her own.
3. Y'all ain't gonna like me after I write this, but oh well...kiss my half Nigerian ass.
Against the ongoing theme that Ali is promoting I do not agree with her theory that Black women should receive open-handed slaps to the mouth.
Not just a slap,
And OPEN-HANDED SLAP...
If anyone with a penis or a vagina slaps me...
I will go Kindergarten THERMOS, LUNCH BAG and LUNCHBOX on you.
Nor should we expect our men to have other women in their lives as partners IF they have committed themselves to us. Monogamy is good. As for all that polygamy dates back to our ancestry bullshit, I say this; back then AIDS wasn't rampant and men were out there working.
Not just some 9 to 5 job with benefits.
With a company car and 401K plans with an IRA option.
Negroes was building a damn house out of sticks and mud.
With irrigation system and shit.
Killing antelope and zebra to feed his wives and 17 kids, while shaving a boar.
Making home remedies out of wheatgrass and pepper.
These cats were making miracles and hunter packs out of rabbit guts and rhino snout.
THAT'S SOME HARD ASS WORK!
However, Shahrazad points out several key points. Thankfully, I have tranposed these into a lovely conglomerate of modern terminology for the everyday sistah of today.
"Wrote a song bout' it, like to hear it? HERE IT GO!" - Calhoun Tubbs - In Living Color
1. Black women, once committed and/or comfortable in a relationship, should not let themselves "go". Obviously, fitness and health are issues that plague our community and always have but when obesity and smoking are a part of the top five things that kills US (As a people!), clearly we have a problem. For me, I NEED the gym. I HAVE to workout, or Imma go out and CUT a white person on the street, in broad daylight, with a shank! (TOLD YOU I WAS EXTRA BLACK! **pumps fist**) If I was dating a handsome, intelligent brotha that worked out and kept himself together in the beginning and one year later had a potbelly, double chins, and a sweating problem then we are going to have to let something go: either that donut you're eating while playing Madden at 2:00am or YOU!
(Personally, if my man chooses Madden and a donut over sleeping with me at 2AM then you are definitely getting placed in the GOODBYE category)
2. I'll admit, we don't know when to show shut the hell up. My grandma trained me well into doing that we needed, but I am not going to submit myself to someone that obviously doesn't challenge me or give me a reason to make me feel like he could be a leader in a relationship. My generation, unfortunately, has a large percentage of ill-prepared men with sadly developed ideologies of manhood and maturity (as do women). Yet, for those that are luck to have acquired an individual that is the personification of a real man, don't eff it up by running ya mouth just because to want to see if you have control. I recommend that a man has the right to "shake the living life" out of you if you are getting a little to familiar with sounding "chicken-headish".
3. "You ain't gon' have me walkin' round here barefoot and pregnant if you ain't bringing home the bacon!" - My Granny (circa early 90's)
TRANSLATION: Do not get pregnant unless you are contracted with an agreement saying the following: MARRIAGE. Also, financially prepare yourself for a child. For those that have done it otherwise, I give you congratulatory praise and I support you. My mother, throughout the issues we have had, tried her best. Luckily, my grandmother was there and handled many of the responsibilties that my mother was unable to do. Given that situation I know, that for my ass, I need a man and money. I know what my granny went through with my mom. Give me marriage or give me death!
Of course, I will be adding on to this list throughout my wonderful blogging experience. Until then, or when I get through reading the 2nd installment of Ali's, The Blackwoman's Guide to Understanding the Blackman, I bid thee adieu!
Musical Genius of the Day:
Destiny's Child, with the song, Cater 2 U.
Baby I see you working hard
I want to let you know I'm proud,
let you know that I admire what you do
dont know if I need to reassure you my life would
be purposeless without you (yeah)
If I want it (got it)
When I ask you (you provide it)
You inspire me to be better
You challenge me for the better
Sit back and let me pour out my love letter
Let me help you take off your shoes
Untie your shoestrings take off your cufflinks (yeah)
What you want to eat boo (yeah)
Let me feed you
Let me run your bathwater,
whatever you desire, I'll aspire
Sing you a song
Turn my game on
I'll brush your hair
Help put your do rag on
Want a foot rub (yeah)
want a manicure
Baby I'm yours I want to cater 2 you boy
Let me cater 2 you
Cause baby this is your day
Do anything for my man
Baby you blow me away
I got your slippers, your dinner, your dessert and so much more
Anything you want just let me cater to you
Inspire me from the heart
Can't nothing tear us apart
You're all I want in a man
I put my life in your hands
I got your slippers, your dinner, your dessert
and so much more
Anything you want just let me cater 2 you
Baby I'm happy you're home,
let me hold you in arms
I just want to take the stress away from you
Making sure that I'm doing my part (oh)
Boy is there something you need me to do (oh)
If you want it (I got it)
Say the word ( I will try it)
I know whatever I'm not fulfilling (oh)
No other woman is willing (oh)
I'm going to fulfill you mind, body and spirit
I promise you (promise you)
I'll keep myself up (oh)
Remain the same chick (yeah)
You fell in love with (yeah)
I'll keep it tight, I'll keep my figure right
I'll keep my hair fixed, keep rocking the hottest outfits
When come home late tap me on my shoulder, I'll roll over
Baby I heard you, I'm here to serve you ( I'm lovin' it, I'm lovin' it)
If it's love you need, to give it is my joy
All I want to do, is cater 2 you boy
I want to give you my breath, my strength, my will to you
That's the least I can do,
Let me cater 2 you
Through the good (good)
The bad (through the bad)
The ups and the downs (ups and downs)
I'll still be here for you
Let me cater 2 you
Cause you're beautiful ( you're beautiful)
I love the way you are (you are)
Fulfill your every desire (desire)
Your wish is my command (command)
I want to cater to my man
Your heart (your heart)
So pure your love shines through (shines through)
The darkness we'll get through (so much)
So much of me is you (is you)
I want to cater 2 my man
If you disagree with me...chances are you're single because you're hardheaded
If you agree with me and you're single...it's cause you ain't settling for bullshit negroes. Keep the faith! And trust me: YOU'RE RIGHT! ¶ 10:02 AM
