The summer makes you shallow Honestly, it really does.

Ever since I have been on my fitness kick I have embraced the fact that I have become a bit more contingent of phyiscal appearances.

I don't think that I am the end all be all of young black women everywhere, but I have a right to decide that I am not settling for the potbelly, husky fellows of yesteryear.

With this great observation I have devised the categories of which my brothas are falling into. I notice that men have slacked on "the keeping of the appearances", but I refuse to let "Jamal and His Colt 45 belly" enter into the heavenly gates known as, Thou Sugar Walls.

Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you...

Category A: "The I played Football in High School" Guy
This guy calls himself athletic because he still talks about the great game between him and some random ass high school back in 98'. What he isn't understanding is that his last memory of actually running out on someone's field was close to a decade ago and if he tried again he'd fall and break his neck.

Category B: "The all my Fat is Muscle, Girl!" Guy
Those rolls of fat on your hip are not extended hip muscles. That is just a collection of cellulite and cholesterol building in your system. When I squeeze it I don't feel "power", I feel Popeyes, KFC, and Church's Fried Chicken.

Category C: "The man that still wears tight ass shirts for no apparent reason what so ever" Guy
Yall know that guy. Apparently he considers himself mad fly. Yet and still, he an embarrassment to human kind. I dated a guy like this once. When I was 17, thinking I was grown and self-sufficient, I dated a male stripper from Watts Club Mozambique in Detroit. He had all the things going on that were hot in the day, light skinnededed, curly hurr, and was milking the "Ginufine Baby Hurr" look like he was Elgin Lumpkin's freakin' body double. He was a cross between a Kappa and a walking Texturizer commercial seen during Soul Train episodes.

What was I thinking at this point? I had no idea.

Either way he wore the tight shirt. The tightest shirt ever. We went on a date in Greektown to a spot called Fishbones.
He was sweating while eating and managed to be recongized by several big and beautiful black women as Sexy Diamond.
I pretty much was done with him.

Category D: The nigga that wears 5 T-Shirts to accommodate his skinny ass self
Boy. Eat some dumpling smothered in butter and gravy please. With a side of pork fat because that body will break by the blow of a subway system air tunnel.

Summer.
Makes me shallow.  ¶ 12:11 PM 0 Comments

  From the Boards of a Site I support: OkayPlayer.com The poster known as poetx is indeed a fool:

How many times have you thought (or posted), "dang, why can't WE ever say the n-word without being subject to castigation, threats, and e-mean-mugging? pssh. you need, THE CARD!!! If you've ever heard those people talking about someone getting their 'card' revoked, this is the card of which they speak. and, thanks to the wonders of capitalism and market saturation, for a limited time only, we are making The Card available to others not of our persuasion!!!


act now to get Nigga Priviliges (tm) for the low, low price of:

* 400 years of chattel slavery
* 20-40 million (who's counting, though?) dead ancestors
* annihilation of your cultural record
* 160 years of apartheid
* incarceration of up to a third of your young adult males
* continuing housing and employment discrimination
* appropriation and exploitation of what culture you are able to reassemble under such abject conditions

what do you get with NiggaPrivileges?? Glad you should ask!!!


You, my prospectivenigga, get:

- ability to craft "I hate (former/current oppressive majority racial group) posts". boy that shit is fun and sooooo fulfilling. nothing like seeing the look on the faces of (former/current oppressive majority racial group) faces (whiten/redden/yellow/darken) with fury as you make up for centuries of genocide with the deep hurt that only powerless words can inflict!!!!! NiggaPrivileges is worth it for this benefit alone!!!

- ability to wear " (oppressed minority) Pride" shirts without being seen as intimidating {this offer good only in certain northern cities and major metropolitan areas -- in the South or in rural areas lacking critical concentration of (oppressed minority), backlash may apply"

- ability to be seen as 'cool' and 'hip' by (former/oppressive majority).

- ability to enjoy positive stereotyping. THIS one is great also. i get SOOOOO much pleasure out of (former/oppressive majority's) assumptions about my dick size, dancing, rapping and athletic ability, i tell ya. almost makes up for the jobs and housing thing...

*** fine print ***
NiggaPrivileges (tm) subject to credit approval, the availability of vast amounts of human and natural resources in your homeland, discernible phenotypical differences from proposed oppressor race (to ensure suitability for long term enslavement), and sufficiently advanced immune systems to withstand various poxes and plagues carried by oppressors. Failure to meet all approval criteria plus any non-specified others will result in denial of your application.

NiggaPrivileges (tm)!!!

Cuz sometime, we ALL jus wanna ack lak a nigga!!!!

axe about it today!!!!  ¶ 11:21 AM 0 Comments